Growing up I have always been heavy. When I was a child people called me "stalky," and I was diagnosed with an eating disorder at the age of 8. As I got older, I continued to "grow" and at 16 I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and put on medication, but by my senior year in high school I was tipping the scales at 280lbs. At my heaviest, I weighed 320lbs. I have tried various fad diets, exercise regiments, supplements, and lifestyle changes, and for a while I saw a lot of success. By my 25th birthday I was down to 198lbs - my lowest weight ever. My victory over my weight was short lived and by the end of the year I was pregnant.
Now I know that you're supposed to gain weight when you're pregnant, but when I tell you I was scared to I mean I was petrified of gaining even a pound, and every time the needle settled further away from my starting point, I wanted to cry. I knew it was healthy for my baby for me to be gaining, but I struggled, a lot, and worked really hard to get to where I was, and I was deathly afraid that I wouldn't be able to lose the weight after my little angel was born - I was right. Fast forward to the end of my pregnancy - at delivery I weighed 288lbs. 16months later and 2 days pre-op I weigh in at 269lbs.
The decision to have this surgery was by no means an easy one - There were so many things to consider and so many alternatives that I had to try. I mean, I'd already lost 100lbs before I got pregnant, surely I could do it again after, right? And so last January I began a new journey towards a healthier lifestyle. I joined a new gym, hired a personal trainer and followed his advice to the T, ate only what he told me to eat. He was a great trainer and really paid attention to my body and how it responded. Unfortunately for both of us, by April my body's response was not a positive one. Sure we measured and weighed and tracked my progress, and I know some of you are thinking "Duh, eat less calories than your body burns, it's not that difficult," but the reality is that the only people that say that are those that have never truly struggled with weight loss. It's harder than you think.
So here I am after a year of struggling and getting nowhere, two days before my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, and finally I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. A glimmer of hope in total darkness. I've jumped through the hoops set forth by my insurance company and my surgeon and even with all of the changes and requirements and potential complications, I'm excited! I've always said I don't want to be one of those obese moms you see at the park sitting on the bench because they're too big to play with their kids, and I don't want my son to see me struggling with my weight and avoiding food and all the other issues that come with an eating disorder, and now I can say with complete certainty that neither of those will ever happen.
Stay tuned for my next update on D-Day!
